Roger, Wilco

Those of you who do or have done work in the military sector may be familiar with the Radiotelephony spelling alphabet, or phonetic alphabet, that is commonly used. It's a handy way to convey letters and numbers over the phone, for example, when it is important to differentiate between like-sounding characters.

Well, in honor of Alex's "honorable discharge" from the service of Asynchrony, I'd like to propose a slightly altered version of the phonetic alphabet (okay, really altered) that, if Alex were put in charge, our nation's military might actually be using. For those of you who know the man, and I suppose for those of you who don't, that would be an entertaining, if not altogether frightening, prospect. Congrats, Alex, on your new job. We'll miss you -- and your unique lexicon!

Letter	NATO	Alex
A	Alpha	Arafat
B	Bravo	Bea bea
C	Charlie	Chutzpah
D	Delta	De-geschmackerize
E	Echo	Eliezer
F	Foxtrot	Foxnews
G	Golf	Goy
H	Hotel	Ho
I	India	Interface
J	Juliet	Jew or Joes
K	Kilo	KGB
L	Lima	Liberal
M	Mike	Mama
N	November	No-no-no-no-no
O	Oscar	Optimize
P	Papa	Powder or Pimp
Q	Quebec	Queue
R	Romeo	Ralph
S	Sierra	Schtickle
T	Tango	Tile (as in basement floor)
U	Uniform	Ultra-liberal
V	Victor	Vodka
W	Whiskey	White man
X	X-ray	Exodus
Y	Yankee	Yo or Yomama
Z	Zulu	Zion